If you’ve read my last few wrap-up posts, you may know life’s been a little hectic the last few months. If I’m honest, they’ve been pretty tough, I haven’t been in the happiest of places, and that all culminated in June.
All the Single Ladies
I pondered whether or not to include this in here, but it’s obviously a large part of what happened to me last month. After 2 wonderful years together, my partner and I have separated. It was a heart-breaking decision, and not for lack of love for each other, but because we simply didn’t seem to be on the same path for the future.
And so, I find myself single once more, and living alone, when I had quite smugly thought that I’d had my whole life mapped out for me. There have been ups and downs, good days and bad days, I have been sad, angry, miserable, okay, indifferent, guilty, happy, raging, tired and everything in between, but luckily I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by an incredibly loving and supportive family, and have some amazing friends who are always there for me. I have spent most of the last couple of weeks staying with my Dad and Stepmum, who have been incredible, and I’ve had copious amounts of cuddles with my little brother, and much love (and licks) from our very over-enthusiastic and affectionate chocolate lab; after all, I think there are few pains which cannot be eased by dogs and babies.
And do you know what? For the first time in my life, when everything seems to be falling apart around me, I am actually feeling pretty damn strong. I have had a fairly dark past at times, where something like this may have destroyed me, but while my heart has been broken, I have somehow broken new ground for me. For a start, it’s the first time I have had the strength to admit that, actually, I’m not doing so great, and I need a little help, rather than pretending I’m fine. And I now know that that is totally okay. So I went and stayed with my Dad for a bit. Did it make me feel me feel helpless or weak? Actually, it reminded me of how lucky and loved I am, and allowed me to heal and find strength in a safe environment.
I think I’ve just reached a giant point of FUCK IT. I actually feel more empowered than ever to go after the things I want in life and make them happen. I’m finally working on my book again, after having neglected it for several months. I’m meeting the friends I’ve been saying I must catch up with for months, but have never got round to. Yes, this last week I have had too much wine and not enough food, but mainly because I’ve been out with people who make me feel good and I’ve had fun, rather than isolating myself alone at home and doing this, as I may have done in the past.
So here’s to new beginnings, and to making your own dreams come true!
Here’s a few quotes that have helped me feeling motivated (there has been a LOT of “inspirational quotes” searching on Pinterest when I’ve needed a pick-me-up! By all means, if you are also inclined in the way of super cheesy affirmations, do feel free to check out my Pinterest board).
June in Books
Nursing a broken heart did mean that I decided to submerge myself in reading again, and managed to get through more than I had in the last few months. Overall, a damn good selection as well, Killing Monica didn’t really do it for me, but I loved everything else I read this month, so that’s great.
Books Releases to Get Excited About in July
The Quality of Silence – Jul 2nd
Some Kind of Wonderful – July 2nd
Summer Flings and Dancing Dreams – July 3rd
Fairytale Beginnings – July 10th
Secrets at Maple Syrup Farm – July 17th
The Little Flower Shop by the Sea – July 30th
Books I Plan to Read in July
Given my shit-ness at getting through the reading goals I’ve set my self lately, I’m just going to put the 3 from above which I’ve not yet read, and I also want to enjoy some of the lovely paperbacks I’ve bought myself recently for #paperbacksummer. We shall see!
July marks one year since I first started blogging, which is super exciting, so I’ve got lots of amazing giveaways to celebrate with you all!
What are you looking forward to this month?